Static and Sparks

He sets his mug down, untasted, his fingers tapping a nervous rhythm on the counter. “I just… I wanted to say I’m sorry. For dragging you into this. For almost getting us caught.”

*Oh, Jamie.* I step closer, close enough that our shoulders almost brush. “You didn’t drag me into anything,” I say, my voice low, firm. “I’m exactly where I want to be.”

His eyes snap to mine, wide and a little wild. *There it is. That fear.* “But what if someone finds out? What if—”

I cut him off with a shake of my head. “Hey. Look at me.” I wait until his gaze meets mine, until I’m sure he’s really listening. “Whatever happens, we’ll face it. Together. Okay?”

He swallows hard, his throat working, but after a beat he nods. “Okay.”

*Good. That’s good.* I take another sip of my coffee, the bitterness grounding me. “You know, my first boyfriend was a firefighter too,” I say, keeping my tone light, conversational. If Jamie notices the abrupt subject change, he doesn’t comment, just watches me, waiting. *I’ve got you, baby. Just follow my lead.*

“Yeah?” he says, picking up his mug but not drinking, his knuckles white where he grips it.

“Yeah. His name was Chris. We were stupid in love, the kind of love that makes you do dumb shit.” *Like fucking in the back of the engine on a slow Tuesday.* “Thought we were being so careful, sneaking around. Turned out half the house knew before we’d been together a month.”

Jamie’s eyes go wide, his mug freezing halfway to his mouth. “What happened?”

I shrug. “What could happen? Some of the guys were assholes about it, sure. Made comments, gave us shit. But most of them…” I trail off, smiling a little at the memory. “Most of them had our backs. Cap found out, pulled us both into his office. We thought we were done for, you know? Thought we were gonna get written up, or transferred, or some shit.”

“But?” Jamie prompts, his voice barely above a whisper.

“But he just looked at us, all stern, and said, ‘I don’t want to see any PDA in the common areas, and if it affects your work, we’ll have problems. But what you do on your own time is your business.’” I shake my head, still a little amazed, even after all these years. “That was it. End of story.”

Jamie is quiet for a long moment, processing. “Just like that,” he says finally, setting his mug down.

“Just like that,” I agree. “I’m not saying it was always easy, or that everyone was thrilled about it. But the people who mattered, the ones who really cared about us? They had our backs. Just like I’ve got yours.”

*There it is. The offer, laid out plain as day.* I hold my breath, waiting. *Please, Jamie. Let me in. Let me be your person.*

He looks at me, really looks at me, his gaze searching my face like he’s trying to see inside my skull. *Look all you want, baby. I’ve got nothing to hide.* “Why?” he asks finally, the word barely audible. “Why would you… why would you take that risk? For me?”

*Oh, sweetheart.* I reach out, slow, giving him plenty of time to pull away. When he doesn’t, I let my hand settle on his arm, my thumb stroking over the tense muscle there. “Because you’re worth it,” I say, simple and true. “Because what I feel when I’m with you… it’s not something I’m willing to walk away from. Not unless you tell me to.”

*Please don’t tell me to walk away.* I leave the last part unsaid, but I see the moment he hears it anyway, his eyes going dark, his breath catching in his chest.

*Say something. Anything.* The silence stretches, taut and trembling, while I wait for him to break it.

When he does, it’s not what I expect. “I’m scared, Leo,” he says, the words tumbling out in a rush, his voice raw. “I’m really fucking scared.”

*I know, baby. I know.* I step closer, close enough that the fronts of our thighs brush, the heat of him seeping through my scrubs. “I’m scared too,” I admit, because it’s true. I’m terrified. Of getting hurt, of losing him, of everything going to shit. *But I’m more scared of never trying. Of never knowing what this could be.*

His eyes go wide, like he never expected me to admit it, and I laugh, the sound a little shaky. “Not convinced?” I ask, quirking an eyebrow at him. “I’m human, Jamie. Just like you. This… this is new for me too. Being the one who’s…” *The one who’s out. The one who’s visible. The one who has something to lose.* I don’t say any of that, but I see the moment he understands, his expression softening.

*Yeah. You get it now, don’t you?* I’ve never been the one in the closet, the one with something to hide. Not since I was a teenager, anyway. *And I won’t go back. Not for anything.* “It’s new,” I say again, my voice firmer this time. “But it’s not wrong. And neither are you.”

*There it is. The crux of it.* I see the moment the words land, see the way his shoulders slump, just a little, like the weight of them is too much to carry. *You’re not wrong, Jamie. You’re not broken. You’re just… you. And you are magnificent.*

“I just… I don’t know how to do this,” he says, the words barely audible. “How to be… this. How to be us.”

*Oh, baby.* I reach up, my hand cradling his jaw, my thumb swiping over the sharp line of his cheekbone. “We’ll figure it out,” I say, my voice a promise. “Together. One day at a time, one moment at a time. We’ll take it as slow or as fast as you need. As long as we’re together, we’ll be okay.”

*Believe me. Please, just believe me.* I hold his gaze, letting him see everything I’m feeling, everything I want. *I’m yours, Jamie. I’ve been yours since the moment I met you. Let me show you how good this can be.*

He leans into my touch, his eyes fluttering closed for just a second before he forces them open again. “Together,” he echoes, the word a little stronger this time, a little more certain.

*Yes. Together.* I smile at him, big and bright and probably a little dopey. “Together,” I agree. “Now come on. Break’s almost over, and I need to check on a few patients before my shift ends.”

*And later… later we’ll pick up where we left off.* I don’t say it, but I see the moment he hears it anyway, his eyes going dark, his breath catching in his chest. *Oh, we will. I’m going to show you exactly how good this can be.*

I’m not sure who moves first, me or him, but suddenly we’re kissing, really kissing, our mouths crashing together with enough force to click teeth. *Yes. God yes.* I groan into his mouth, my hands fisting in his shirt, yanking him closer. *More. I need more.*

He gives it to me, his tongue sliding against mine, hot and wet and filthy. *Fuck, he’s good at this.* I had no idea—how could I have known?—but fuck, he’s good at this. *Where the hell did a nice boy like Leo learn to kiss like this?*

*Who cares?* I pin him against the counter, my hips grinding against his, my dick hard and heavy in my turnout pants. *Fuck, I want him. Want him so bad it’s like a physical ache, a toothache in my balls.*

*Jesus, that’s disgusting, Jamie.* I shut my inner voice up with another kiss, this one slower, deeper, wetter. *Shut up. Shut up and let me have this.*

Leo seems just as into it as I am, his hands sliding down my back to grip my ass, pulling me even closer. *Fuck, his hands.* I want them everywhere, want them on my skin, want them in me, on me, all over me.

*Easy. Easy. Don’t rush.* But I don’t want to go slow. I want everything, all at once, and I want it now. *Later. Later we can do slow. Right now I just need—*

“Jamie,” Leo gasps, pulling back just enough to speak, his lips swollen and red and fucking perfect. *Did I do that?* The thought sends a surge of possessiveness through me, hot and primal. *Mine. He’s mine.* “Wait. Slow down. We don’t have to—”

*I know we don’t have to. I want to.* I cut him off with another kiss, this one softer, sweeter. *See? I can be sweet.* “Please,” I whisper against his mouth, my voice rough, wrecked. “I need… I need you. Please, Leo.”

His eyes go dark, his pupils blowing wide with lust. *He likes it when I beg. Fuck, that’s hot.* “Okay,” he says, his voice just as rough as mine. “Okay, baby. I’ve got you.”