The Frequency of Want

“Christ, Riley,” Jordan groaned, the sound raw and needy. “You have no idea what you’re doing to me. Watching you like this, so lost in it, so fucking beautiful—it’s torture. The best kind of torture.”

I choked out a laugh, the sound breathless and strained. “Torture? Is that… is that what this is?”

“The sweetest fucking torture,” Jordan confirmed, their voice a low growl. “Seeing you unravel, hearing every catch in your breath, knowing I’m the one pulling your strings even from here—it’s intoxicating. You’re intoxicating.”

The toy’s rhythm shifted again, the vibrations deepening to a heavy, resonant throb that seemed to vibrate through my very core. A low moan escaped me, my head falling back as my hips pressed forward, seeking more, deeper, harder.

“Jordan, please,” I gasped, my voice barely audible over the buzz. “I need… I need more. I need you to—”

“I know what you need,” Jordan cut in, their voice rough with promise. “And I’m going to give it to you. Every fucking inch, every pulse, every gasp. Until you’re coming apart on my command. Until you’re screaming my name.”

Their words sent a shudder through me, my body trembling with anticipation. In the mirror, my reflection seemed to blur at the edges, my vision hazy with desire. The toy’s vibrations intensified again, the rhythm growing erratic, unpredictable—one moment a deep, resonant thrum, the next a sharp, staccato pulse that made my teeth chatter.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” I chanted, the word a mantra, a prayer, a plea. “Jordan, I can’t—I’m going to—”

“Not yet,” Jordan commanded, their voice sharp and firm. “Hold on, love. Just a little longer. I want to hear you beg.”

I choked out a sob, my fingers digging into my own flesh hard enough to leave bruises. “Please,” I whimpered, my hips rocking desperately against the relentless pulse. “Please, Jordan, I need it. I need you. I need—”

“I know,” Jordan soothed, their voice softening, turning tender even as the toy’s rhythm grew more demanding. “I’ve got you, love. I’ve always got you. Now let go. Let it take you. Let me take you.”

And with those words, something inside me snapped.

The orgasm hit me like a physical force, a wave crashing over me and pulling me under. My knees buckled, my body sagging against the mirror as the first pulse of release tore through me. A cry ripped from my throat, raw and ragged, my vision whiting out at the edges as pleasure overwhelmed every sense.

“Fuck! Jordan, fuck—!” I gasped, my hips snapping forward involuntarily, riding out the shockwaves as the toy’s vibrations seemed to sync perfectly with my own pulsing release. Each throb of the toy drew another wave of ecstasy from me, my body trembling, my breath coming in harsh, sobbing gulps.

“That’s it, love,” Jordan’s voice was a low, guttural growl in my ear, rough with their own desire. “Come for me. Let me hear it. Let me feel it.”

I could only moan in response, my forehead pressed to the cool glass of the mirror as I shuddered through the aftershocks. The toy’s rhythm softened, shifting from the relentless pulse to a gentler, rolling wave that seemed to cradle me through the comedown. My breath hitched, my body trembling as I slowly, slowly began to return to myself.

“Riley,” Jordan’s voice was softer now, tender, almost reverent. “Riley, look at me. Look at yourself.”

I forced my eyes open, my gaze locking with my own reflection in the mirror. My hair was a wild, electric-blue mess, strands sticking to the sweat-damp skin of my forehead and neck. My cheeks were flushed a deep, vibrant pink, my lips parted and swollen, my chest rising and falling with each shaky breath. And my eyes—God, my eyes were wide and dark, pupils blown with the lingering effects of pleasure, fixed on my own reflection with a kind of dazed wonder.

“That’s it,” Jordan murmured, their voice a low, soothing hum. “Look at what you are. Look at what you’ve done. So fucking beautiful. So strong. So mine.”

The possessiveness in their tone sent a fresh shiver through me, my body responding even in its exhausted state. I let out a shaky breath, my fingers twitching where they rested against the mirror.

“Yours,” I echoed, my voice hoarse, ragged. “Always yours.”

“Always,” Jordan confirmed, their voice warm and rich with satisfaction. “Fuck, Riley. You… you take my breath away. Every time. Every fucking time.”

I managed a weak smile, my reflection in the mirror mimicking the expression. “Ditto,” I whispered, my throat tight with emotion. “God, Jordan. I… I needed that. Needed you.”

“I know, love,” Jordan murmured, their voice softening further. “I know. I’m right here. I’m always right here with you.”

A comfortable silence fell between us, punctuated only by the soft hum of the toy still nestled inside me and the distant, muffled sounds of the city outside my studio window. In the mirror, I watched my own breathing slowly even out, my flush fading to a warm glow, my body relaxing by increments as the last vestiges of pleasure faded.

“Talk to me,” Jordan said after a long moment, their voice a gentle command. “Tell me what you’re feeling. What you’re seeing.”

I took a slow, deep breath, my gaze roaming over my reflection as I considered the question. “I feel… wrung out,” I admitted quietly, my voice still rough around the edges. “But in a good way. Like every muscle has been worked to its limit. Like I’ve been… remade, somehow.”

“Remade,” Jordan echoed, their tone thoughtful. “I like that. Like you’ve been rebuilt into something new. Something even more breathtaking than before.”

I felt a blush creep up my neck at the praise, my eyes dropping for a brief moment before lifting again to meet my own gaze in the mirror. “I see… possibility,” I said after a beat, my voice growing stronger as I spoke. “I see a body that’s capable of so much. Of feeling so much. Of giving and taking in equal measure.”

“Mmm,” Jordan hummed, a smile evident in their voice. “I see that too. I’ve always seen that in you, love. Even when you couldn’t see it yourself.”

I swallowed hard, my throat suddenly thick with emotion. “I know. I… I don’t know if I ever said it before, but… thank you. For seeing me. For… for helping me see myself.”

“Always, Riley,” Jordan said softly, sincerely. “It’s my favorite thing in the world, seeing you. All of you. Every complicated, beautiful, brilliant inch.”

I let out a shaky laugh, swiping at the moisture gathering at the corners of my eyes. “Even the messy, sweaty, post-orgasm inches?”

“Especially those,” Jordan confirmed with a chuckle. “Those are the best ones. The real ones. The ones that show me how alive you are. How present.”

I nodded, my gaze still locked on my reflection. “I feel present,” I murmured, my voice soft with wonder. “More present than I’ve felt in… God, I don’t even know how long. It’s like… like the toy, the mirror, your voice… it all just… stripped away everything else. Left me bare. Left me real.”

“That’s how I always want you,” Jordan said, their voice a low, fervent promise. “Real. Raw. Completely, unapologetically you.”

I felt a fresh wave of warmth wash over me, my skin tingling with the aftermath of my release and the sheer, unadulterated affection in Jordan’s tone. “I want that too,” I whispered, my voice barely audible. “For you. For us.”

“It’s already yours, love,” Jordan murmured, their voice a soothing balm. “It’s always been yours. Just like you’ve always been mine.”

I closed my eyes for a brief moment, savoring the words, letting them wash over me like a physical caress. When I opened them again, my reflection looked softer, somehow. More at peace. More… me.

“Thank you,” I said again, my voice stronger this time, more certain. “For tonight. For… for everything.”

“Thank you, Riley,” Jordan returned, their voice warm and rich with emotion. “For trusting me. For letting me in. For being you.”

A comfortable silence fell between us again, the connection between us humming as strong and vibrant as the toy still nestled inside me. In the mirror, I watched my own lips curve into a soft, sated smile—a reflection of the one I could hear in Jordan’s voice.

“You should probably…” I trailed off, my gaze dropping to the toy’s remote still clutched in my free hand. “You know. Let me… come down. All the way.”

Jordan’s chuckle was low and warm. “Consider it done.”

The shift was gradual, the toy’s vibrations slowly, slowly fading from a gentle hum to stillness. I let out a soft sigh as my body relaxed fully, the last vestiges of tension draining away as the toy settled into a comfortable, inert presence inside me.

“Better?” Jordan asked, their voice soft with concern.