Fifteen Frames Past Applause

He lifted the black shirt over Eliam’s head. Underneath, Eliam’s skin still held the remnant heat of the stage. Sweat had dried in a fine line near his collarbone. There were faint marks at his hips where a mic pack had rested, a small old scar near his ribs, the ordinary evidence of a body that worked for a living and paid for it.

Tobin set his hands against Eliam’s chest.

“You look different without the lights,” he said.

“I hope that is not a complaint.”

“It is not.”

Eliam kissed him again. Tobin felt the shape of Eliam’s back beneath his palms, the movement of muscle under skin. He wanted time. He wanted to learn this without reducing it to an image he could crop and file away.

When Eliam reached for Tobin’s belt, he stopped first.

“Can I?”

“Yes.”

The buckle opened. Eliam eased Tobin’s trousers down, then looked up from where he stood close between Tobin’s knees.

“Condoms?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“My last test was four weeks ago.”

“Mine was six.”

“Condoms anyway.”

“Of course.”

Eliam gave a small laugh. “You have them?”

“In the camera bag.”

“That is the least surprising thing you have said all night.”

Tobin took out a small zip pouch and put it on the counter. Eliam opened it, checked the condoms, set the bottle of lube beside them.

“Anything you do not want?” Eliam asked.

“Nothing you need to avoid.” Tobin considered that. “Just ask.”

“I will.”

He lowered himself to his knees.

Tobin’s hand closed around the edge of the counter.

“Do you want my mouth?” Eliam asked.

“Yes.”

“Here?”

“Eliam.”

“Right. Yes.”

Eliam drew Tobin’s underwear down and took his cock in hand. He looked at it for a second, not performing admiration, simply seeing. Then he bent forward and put his mouth on him.

Tobin’s eyes closed.

Eliam began slowly. His mouth was patient, his hand moving in time with it, giving Tobin room to adjust before taking more. Tobin had been with men who treated wanting as an emergency. Eliam did not. He paid attention to every shift in Tobin’s body.

When Tobin’s hand settled at the back of Eliam’s head, he kept it there without pushing.

Eliam looked up.

“Good?” he asked.

“Very.”

That made Eliam continue.

Tobin felt the pressure build low in his body, clean and immediate. He had to brace his knee against the counter when Eliam changed the angle of his mouth and used his hand at the base of Tobin’s cock.

“Eliam.”

Eliam stopped at once.

“Too much?”

“No.” Tobin drew him up by the shoulder. “Come here.”

Eliam rose, mouth flushed, hair falling forward again.

“I want you too,” Tobin said.

“You have me.”

“Sit down.”

Eliam looked toward the sofa. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

He sat. Tobin stepped between Eliam’s knees, took his belt loose, and opened the button of his trousers. Eliam lifted his hips to help, then stopped himself.

“Do you want help?” Tobin asked.

“Yes.”

Tobin pulled the trousers and underwear down together. Eliam’s cock was already hard, resting against his stomach. Tobin touched him with one hand.

Eliam’s eyes shut briefly.

“That all right?” Tobin asked.

“Yes.”

“Tell me if you need me to stop.”

“I will.”

Tobin went down in front of him. He took Eliam into his mouth with the same care Eliam had given him, one hand steady at Eliam’s hip, the other working along the length of him. Eliam made Tobin’s name into something small and surprised.

Tobin kept going until Eliam’s hand caught at the sofa cushion.

“Do not make me come yet,” Eliam said.

Tobin looked up.

“I want—” Eliam stopped. “I want the rest.”

Tobin stood.

Eliam reached for him, then kept his hands open. “You do not have to.”

“I know.”

Tobin kissed him. “I want you inside me.”

Eliam held still.

“Are you certain?”

“Yes.”

“Tell me how.”

Tobin looked at the sofa, then back at him. “On my side first. I want to see you.”

“All right.”

They moved together to the sofa. Tobin lay down and pulled his trousers fully free. Eliam removed his own, then came back with the lube bottle in one hand.

“May I touch you here?” he asked.

Tobin spread his knees slightly. “Yes.”

Eliam put lube across his fingers, then touched Tobin with an attention that made his body tighten before it gave way. The first finger pressed at his opening, paused, and entered slowly.

Tobin exhaled through his teeth.

“Does that hurt?”

“No. Stay there.”

Eliam stayed.

Tobin adjusted around him. The pressure became easier once his body understood what it was being asked to allow. Eliam moved his finger carefully, never more than Tobin could take without asking for.

“Another?” Eliam said.

“Yes.”

The second finger stretched him further. Tobin gripped the sofa cushion and looked at Eliam’s face. Eliam was watching him, waiting for each answer instead of deciding one for him.

“There,” Tobin said when Eliam found the place that made his body react before thought could follow.

Eliam’s mouth opened slightly. “There?”

“Yes.”

He kept his touch slow. Tobin’s cock pressed against his own stomach, hard and neglected again. Eliam reached for it, then stopped.

“Can I?”

“Please.”

Eliam worked him with his free hand while keeping the other inside him. Tobin’s body began to move with the rhythm Eliam set. He wanted more, but he did not want to hurry past any part of this.

“Condom,” Tobin said.

Eliam withdrew carefully.

He opened the packet, rolled the condom over his cock, then added lube across it. Tobin watched every movement. Being seen did not feel like being captured. Not here.

Eliam came back to the sofa and placed a hand at Tobin’s hip.

“Do you want to guide me?”

“Yes.”

Tobin reached behind himself, found Eliam’s cock, and brought him to his opening.

“Slowly,” he said.

Eliam pressed forward.

The first pressure was sharp enough to make Tobin stop breathing for a second. Eliam stopped with him.

“Do you want out?”

“No.” Tobin held his hip. “Stay.”

Eliam stayed exactly where he was.

Tobin shifted, let his body open around him, then moved back by an inch.

“More,” he said.

Eliam eased in further. Tobin felt every careful increment until Eliam was fully inside him, close enough that Tobin could feel the heat of him at his back.

“Still yes?” Eliam asked.

“Yes.”

“Tell me when.”

Tobin moved once against him.

“Now.”

Eliam began to move.

At first it was slow enough that Tobin could count each stroke. Eliam kissed his shoulder, then his neck, then turned Tobin’s face toward him for a kiss when Tobin looked back. His hand found Tobin’s cock again.

“Harder?” Eliam asked.

“Not yet.”

Eliam listened.

The sofa gave a small sound beneath them. Somewhere beyond the locked door, road cases crossed concrete, metal wheels rattling toward the trucks. The tour was still happening around them. The label calls were still waiting. Cameras existed. Morning would arrive.

None of it got inside the room.

Tobin pushed back again.

“Harder now.”

Eliam’s hand tightened around his cock. His next movement carried more force, but he kept the same care, reading Tobin’s response before giving more. Tobin reached behind him and held Eliam at the hip, not to stop him, only to keep him there.

“That,” Tobin said.

Eliam kissed him with a sound against his mouth that Tobin felt more than heard.

The pressure inside him became pleasure, then need, then something that made his hands lose their purpose. Eliam’s hand moved over him, steady and sure. Tobin came across Eliam’s knuckles with a broken sound, his body drawing tight around him.

Eliam stopped moving for a moment, holding him through it.

Then Tobin turned his head and said, “Do not stop.”

Eliam did not.

He moved twice more, then buried his face against Tobin’s shoulder as he came. His body held close for several seconds before he went still.

Neither of them spoke immediately.

Eliam withdrew with care and held the condom at its base. He tied it off, wrapped it in tissue, and put it in the bin beside the counter. Then he returned with a bottle of water.

“How are you?” he asked.

Tobin took the water. “Good.”

“Good enough?”

Tobin looked at him. “Do not make me explain that right now.”

“I can live with that.”

They sat on the sofa with their clothes scattered around the room. Eliam had put his shirt back on but left it open. Tobin wore nothing except one sock, which made him laugh when he noticed.

Eliam looked down at the floor. “I have wanted that since the bus.”

Tobin took another drink of water.

“The bus?”

“Your knees against mine. You awake with that screen in your lap. You looking at me like I was not a product anyone had handed you.” Eliam looked back at him. “I wanted you then. I did not know what to do with it.”